Milestones

Well it's been a busy, busy couple of weeks around here...

Last Thursday, May 19th, Mackenzie graduated from Huntsville High and we were blessed to have lots of family and friends gathered to cheer her on.

Here are a few pictures from the night:

And here's a quick video of the big moment:   yay!! :)

Then this past Wednesday, May 25th, Anna finally escaped the hallowed halls of Hampton Cove Middle School!   haha....

And one more video from Anna's graduation:

And then yesterday was Mackenzie's 18th Birthday.  Wow.   No pictures from that, but she celebrated by staying with some friends at the Embassy Suites last night and having a yummy dinner at Sam & Gregs...  The moment that I think it really hit me that she's an 'adult' now (well, everywhere except in Alabama where apparently you now have to be 19 to be an adult - go figure)  was when she came downstairs after logging into her bank account and told me that they made her log out of the "child" account that we had set up for her and made her sign in to the 'regular' banking website....  They didn't waste any time on THAT 'transition.'  :)

I'm not so sure that I'm quite as eager to move on as the bankers are...  ha

Speaking of, I read this a couple of days ago in "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp (thank you Lisa, for letting me borrow this book!) and I think it fits my feelings about all this:

My baby is five.  She falls asleep in my arms after the close of dinner prayers, us still seated at table, and I hold her long after [her dad] has put the rest of the tribe to bed, her curls damp and etching into my skin and I don't move.  Her face is turned toward mine, broad and open, eyelashes whisper of gold.  I trace her lips, gentle curve of all things beautiful.  The way her eyes danced today, soul light, the arch of her eyebrows and that lyrical laugh, heaven's echo that entirely undoes me.  Her breath is warm on my face, all that is alive and warm and breathing inside of her now, falling upon me, and I can't capture it, hold it, this, her life now, me in this moment.  She is leaving me, she's growing up and moving away from me, and she stirs and I sweep back the crop of the golden ringlets.  Stay, Little One, stay.  Love's a deep wound and what is a mother without a child and why can't I hold on to now forever and her here and me here and why does time snatch away a heart I don't think mine can beat without?  Why do we all have to grow old?  Why do we have to keep saying good-bye?

Again, I refuse to walk the bridge into tomorrow's unknowns, and I shame the Bridge Builder with my worries, my demand to just let me stay here, or go back, but no, not to go on, and again He comes to carry me flailing and anxious...

There are a lot of mixed emotions with this time...  most of them now are ones of excitement and anticipation of new things to come.  College, high school...  endings, new beginnings...  and it's fun and full of blessings and I am thankful.  But I'm a little fearful of a few months from now - trying to prepare myself for it and too aware that I have no idea how to do that.  But I've had quite a few moms, who have walked this road ahead of me, pat me on the shoulder and tell me that it will all be OK...  so I'm trusting their wisdom, and trusting God's strong hands to catch me when I start to fall. 

A Crown of Thorns

I spent a lot of time out in the yard on Saturday.  The first half of the day was mostly getting 'chores' done...  the second half was more fun, buying and planting some flowers in pots, finally.  My back porch is much more colorful and festive now.  :)

Early in the morning, I mowed the front yard, then went around to the back to get started there.  Then I had to pause, because I really needed to cut down and dig up this dead bouganvillea that I had planted last year.  It was really beautiful last summer, but since it died, it's just been a mass of long viney thorns sticking out all over the place.  Last time I mowed, I just kept having to duck by it to keep from getting scratched by it - it hurt!  So I went and got my heavy leather gloves and big clippers and shovel and got to work.   I began cutting and putting the vines carefully in the trash so I didn't poke holes in the bag - not easy to avoid with these prickly thorns.  As I was doing this, I was also listening to Chris Tomlin and these words began drifting through my headphones as I stared into my trash at this:

"And I hear the voice of many angels sing, worthy is the lamb

And I hear the cry of every longing heart, worthy is the lamb..."

As I looked at the thorns on that vine and reached in to touch the tip of one, reminding me how sharp they are, I thought of Jesus the lamb, Jesus the sacrifice, and all the pain that He endured for me as a crown of thorns was woven and shoved into his scalp...   "worthy is the lamb..."

Then came these words in the next song:

"Worthy, uncreated one,

From heaven to earth come down

You laid aside your royalty

To wear the sinner's crown...

(the crown that should be on MY head!)

And when we see your matchless face,

In speechless awe we'll stand

And there we'll bow with grateful hearts

Unto the Great I AM."

I am so UN-worthy of the sacrifice that Jesus made on that day for me...  of the pain He willingly endured so that grace and salvation could be extended to me...  of the price He paid so that I didn't have to.  I still really can't grasp it, but as I stared into that tangle of thorns, I was reminded and overwhelmed with gratitude.