Last Tuesday, February 17th, we had to make a very painful decision to have our sweet dog put to sleep. It was definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done. But she was having trouble walking last Monday morning. Her legs just wouldn't work together and she was wobbling all over the place. I took her to the vet and he said she had severe arthritis and neurological damage that was causing the problems with walking. And even though she wasn't being obvious about it, he said she had to be in a lot of pain. :( I took her home with some medicine to give her hoping it might help and give her a little more time, but it was obvious by the next day that she wasn't going to get better. I remember a couple of times in the night being woken up by her struggling to get out of her dog door. By the time I could get up, throw on a sweatshirt and some boots, I'd find her out in the middle of the yard, disoriented and having a hard time finding her way back in. I knew even then as I was helping her back into the house that this wasn't going to get better.
So I called the vet the next day and made the appointment. And you know it's going to be bad when you can't make the appointment without crying. Anna didn't want to go - it was too hard. She said goodbye before she left for school that day and it was very sad. Mandy was so special to her and Anna loved her to death. I'm glad she got these special pictures with her last fall in one of Mandy's favorite places, Green Mountain.
Jack and I took her to the vet later in the afternoon, and I'm very thankful for caring doctors who know how hard this kind of thing is. They were so kind to us. One of the 'nurses' (What do you call the people who help out the vets - I just realized I don't know!) who had seen Mandy the day before and done her bloodwork actually came in the room when she found out we were back just to say she was sorry and how sweet she thought Mandy was. It may seem silly but that meant a lot to me in the moment. Anyways, it was hard to sit there with Mandy while they worked on her, knowing what was happening. But I was glad to be with her through it and I know it was the best thing. I certainly didn't want to prolong her pain and suffering. She lived a long and good life - and I didn't know this, but apparently dogs who develop diabetes don't live for much more than 6 months after their diagnosis. Well Mandy made it for over 3 years... so she's a fighter and she beat the odds on a lot of things.
It was really hard to come home without her to a house that is now strangely quiet without her presence. For the next few days I found myself not wanting to come home because I didn't want to face the prospect of her not being there to greet me. I have had weird times where I hear something and it sounds like her. One night I was brushing my teeth and I could have sworn I heard the dog door flapping. That was always the time of night where as I got ready for bed, she would have a treat, go out and get water and do her 'business' and then get in bed for the night. And I guess I'm just so used to hearing the dog door that I imagined it. I still look for her when I've finished my nightly bowl of ice cream because she always licked the bowl. :) Little things - but you don't realize how much they become part of your life and how much you miss them until they are not there. I really miss her jumping up on the couch and laying next to me while I read in the morning. She didn't always do it (because that would have spoiled me too much! ha), but I loved it when she did...
The day after we had to let her go, I had to go to work and get on with the business of the day, etc. I was ok, but sad, and knew I needed some peace and comfort to settle my heart for the day. I was saying a prayer about all of that as I drove to work - and I had honestly just asked God to bring some measure of comfort for the sadness in my heart that would help me get on with the day... and truly, just as I had finished praying that I got this text:
It just felt like God sent me a little message letting me know that my dear friend was thinking about me and praying for me and caring about how I was feeling... and that was just what I needed in that moment. Praising God for just the right thing at the right time. :)
I spent some time one day last week looking through pictures on my computer and pulling together photos of Mandy. It's crazy how many I have! She really is like a 3rd child. ;-) So I'll share a few here:
Cute Puppy...
She never struggled with finding a way to be comfortable...
And she LOVED hikes up on Green Mountain...
She was usually up for an adventure and didn't want to be left behind when we went boating...
Or even paddle-boating!
And I can't help thinking that she would have loved this snow day that we are having today! Here's a pic from a few years ago...
And this is just a favorite of mine because she kept me company through many a long walk up on Green Mountain, sharing my good times and bad... and this is one of my favorite spots...
So this is my tribute to 'man's best friend' - she certainly proved to be that to me. I miss her greeting when I get home - I miss the sound of her snoring at night - I miss the way her ears flapped when she shook her head - I miss how excited she got when people came over - I miss her snuggling with me on the couch - I miss walks in the neighborhood (I have probably prayed more with her than with any other person in my life. hmmmmm.....) I miss how she would chew and chew and chew on a peanut but would swallow a chunk of meat whole like her life depended on it - I even miss her being 'underfoot' in the kitchen while I'm cooking or begging for food (well, I don't miss that TOO much!). But I have lots and lots of good memories and happy times to think of and I'm thankful for that.
One last photo... this was our last day:
Good-bye sweet Mandy. Hope you are having fun chasing bunnies that you can actually see now and eating all the candy you can find! Especially the chocolate! :)
