Living for Today...

There is the always the temptation to deal with the 'troubles' of today by anticipating what we’re trying to ‘head off’ coming at us on down the road. At least for me there is… But I remembered Matt. 6:33-34 today and then in looking it up, read through the Lord’s Prayer … and was struck by the simplicity of it.

This, then, is how you should pray:
"Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one."
(Matt 6:9-13)

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
(Matt 6:33-34)

Lord, let me praise you today,

seek your kingdom and your righteousness,

and know that you forgive my sins.

Protect me from Satan’s schemes and from temptation,

and help me look for the strength to deal

with the troubles I face one day at a time.

The future is in your hands.

Rocket Man

This has been a bit of an unusual weekend in the Carter household as far as athletic endeavors go. And I would be remiss to have posted mine and Anna's race adventures yesterday and not mention the event that happened today.

Jack has been training for quite some time to get back into doing triathlons - something he enjoyed doing quite a bit of in college. So today was to be his first triathlon in quite some time... the "Rocketman" triathlon out on Redstone Arsenal. Well, who would have thought that we would have Tropical Storm Fay roaring through at just the right time to be at it's absolute worst during the race?! You can't imagine the rain that was coming down in sheets and blowing sideways -- it was crazy! And as I looked out over the Tennessee River at where he was going to have to swim -- it looked more like the Atlantic Ocean today... it wasn't a pretty sight! ha Thankfully, the race directors agreed that if they swam out as far as they had originally planned, they would probably have drowned most of their racers... so they shortened the swim a bit -- much to my relief. (and Jack's too, I think) :-) Anyways, you also wouldn't think that in August in Alabama that you would be cold outside at any point in time... BUT, with the rain coming down like that and the wind blowing the way it was -- and it being early in the morning, it was pretty chilly. And we were soaked to the bone. My umbrella only lasted thru half of my 'spectating' so I was almost as wet as Jack by the time he got done with the race. (This is where you're supposed to stop and feel sorry for me - ha)

Despite all of this, there is good news to report. Jack made it through the swim just fine (400 meters, give or take a few), and really enjoyed the ride on his new bike (20 miles), and finished out the run (4 1/2 miles) -- all in 1 hour, 49 minutes, and 10 seconds! His goal was to be under 2 hours, so that was great -- and he came in 41st place overall -- which is pretty darn good considering that he started in 170th place. He passed by a bunch of people! :-)

Now, I know that in my other posts, I've shared the 'lessons' I've learned... well, I have to say that maybe the rain made my brain too soggy or something today, but if there are going to be insights shared from this experience, they may have to come from Jack. It was his race, after all. I just learned that racing a triathlon in a tropical storm is a pretty heroic feat! Go Jack! :-)

Running of the Bulls

OK, so the title may be a little misleading. I really haven't been to Pamplona... but Anna and I did get up early this morning to go run in Hampton Cove's Running of the Bulls 5K and 1 Mile Fun Run. You might think that Anna did the 5K and I was doing the fun run, but believe it or not, it was the other way around. She's a wimp. haha No, actually, she just had friends running the fun run and thought that might be more fun than having to run with her mom. Go figure. :-) And I can't really bug her about her being a wimp -- she came in 8th place overall in the fun run -- yay Anna!! :-) Now she's dreaming about gold medals in track at the Olympics - you go girl! :-) I guess I should be honest and say I really had no intention at all about running this race. I haven't exactly been doing much to 'train' this summer. But when I went down to register Anna yesterday I just thought, "Well, why not?" So this is how we ended up at the race together this morning. :-) Oh, and if you're wondering about my text color choices, they're Red and Gold in honor of Hampton Cove's school colors. Go Bulls! :-)

So after my last post on what I learned from Green Mountain, I thought I'd talk a little about what I learned from the Bull Run. As I stood 'in the pack' to start the race, I got into a conversation with another mom there that I didn't know. She and I were in the same boat with no one to really run with, so we started out together. She told me that she ran 5 miles every other day so I figured it wouldn't be long before she left me behind. :-) But I managed to keep up with her for the 1st half of the race and it really helped to have someone to run with in that first part to keep my mind off of how bad the first mile always feels. We didn't talk much (because we were trying too hard to breathe!) but at one point we were talking about the age of our kids and she has 6 and 7 year old girls. At this point, for some reason, she chose to tell me that they were still trying to have more kids and had just finished IVF, but that she miscarried right after the proceedure - and she was very sad about it all. Then she went on to say that they hadn't even told either her or her husband's parents because they didn't want to get their hopes up -- and her husband didn't really want to talk about it all, so she didn't even have anyone to talk about it with.

And yes, I realize as anyone is reading this that that probably sounds like a long conversation while you're running, but it was really pretty quick. All I could really get out at that point was to tell her that I was sorry. And I suppose maybe I'm the only one she's had that conversation with... a complete stranger.

Not long after all that, we came to the 'turnaound' in the race and she got up ahead of me. I never did catch her. So I was on my own for the last part of the race. I actually felt pretty good as I was getting towards the end, but of course the only part of the race that was 'uphill' was at the very end -- that wasn't very nice. ha Just when you think you can cruise to the end, they throw a little obstacle in there for you.... but I pressed on and surprisingly enough, finished in my best race time ever -- 33:55. :-) So that was exciting. I didn't even realize it, (I think I was delerious) but Anna came running up and told me I had a 'personal best!' She was funny about that.

So, back to the part of 'what did I learn?' Well, I was thinking that it was good to have someone along for the race for a while because it helped motivate me and get me started. But it sort-of got may attention when she started talking to me about her struggles with getting pregnant and how alone it seemed she felt in dealing with that. I can so easily get caught up in my own pain and struggles that I forget there is a whole world of people out there going through their own things. And we're all on a 'journey' of sorts to get through it all. And as I got left behind, and knew I couldn't catch up (no matter how much I didn't want to look bad! ha) this song by Sara Groves popped into my head. It's called, "This Journey is My Own." I went and looked up the lyrics and I've put them in here -- they fit a lot of what I thought about as I finished out my race working out my own pace and dealing with the obstacles in the way. Really, my only goal today was to 'finish' without having to walk. :-) I was able to do that by not trying to 'run anyone else's race.' But the nice treat at the end was the added 'blessing' of a 'personal best' when I was really least expecting that. I think that's what God wants for us as we run this race of life, and maybe especially when we feel the lonliness of the journey, is to know that He wants us to keep at our own pace and He'll give us what we need (and even more than we asked or imagined - Eph 3:20) as we cross the finish line.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Heb 12:1-3)

This Journey is My Own -- Sara Groves

When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone

This journey is my own

Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval

This journey is my own

Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price

What does it mean to gain the whole world, only to lose my life

So much of what I do is to make a good impression

This journey is my own

And so much of what I say is to make myself look better

But this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price

And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now

This journey is my own

Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down

It was breaking me down

And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one

Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one

Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one

Cuz I know this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price

And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain

I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’

Oh, this journey is my own

I love the thought of 'living and breathing' for an audience of One. It felt that way out on the race course today -- I was so aware of every step and every breath - and of God's presence. Maybe one day I'll finally get that feeling of 'relief' that she talks about when I can truly understand that I'm here to love and to please God alone.

Green Mountain Time

I love those places in life where you can go and time just seems to stand still. Green Mountain is that place for me. (and yes, this picture is exactly where I was sitting today) :-) Maybe it’s a little glimpse of what eternity will be like… and that’s comforting to me, because usually when I think about eternity, it scares me. Too big of a concept to grasp. But sitting and gazing out over the lake up on the mountain today and feeling like I could just sit there forever gives me a little bit of peace about all of that.

Speaking of looking out over the lake, I sat and watched as one lone duck made its way slowly swimming against the light current that seemed to be rippling through the water. It struck me as odd, this duck swimming by itself. Not a sight I usually see. It seems to me that there are usually lots of ducks together. Not today. So I watched the duck as it swam, steadily making it’s way across my view. It didn’t seem to be working real hard or striving too much, even though it was clearly ‘swimming upstream.’ Every now and then it would dip its beak in the water and drink a little and keep on going. I thought at one point that it would be a lot faster and easier for the duck to make it where it was going if it would just flap its wings and get on over to the other side. But it didn’t seem to be in that much of a hurry. Then I thought about myself and what God was trying to show me in that moment. I see myself in this duck all alone, swimming upstream. But the resemblance stops about there. Instead of swimming serenely and purposefully upstream, I find myself fighting and striving. Wishing that I had more than just these duck feet to keep paddling with. Wanting to flap my wings and fly to the other side. But then I realized that if I did that, I’d be missing what I need along the way. To see the glory of God in the scenery passing by. To stop and take a drink along the way from God’s goodness and mercy, so that I can keep on going. Learning to trust that even though it may take a little longer and a little more effort, that to shortcut things to the end only means you usually find yourself swimming upstream at some point again.

As my duck swam out of view, I noticed some commotion in the water near me. It took a couple of minutes to figure out what was going on, but then I saw a school of catfish. Or at least I’m going to call them catfish. Since I know nothing about fish, I may be wrong. :-)Anyways, I watched as the catfish came into view. There were probably about 6 or 7 of them swimming gracefully and peacefully alongside one another. But it wasn’t long before I figured out why I had heard commotion earlier. One of the catfish flinched, or maybe it bumped into the fish next to it, and suddenly they all went flipping and flapping about, swimming in all directions. I tried to find them again, but in all the craziness, they totally muddied the waters around them and then they were gone. And I thought how much we can be like those catfish, especially in friendships. Here we are, peacefully swimming in harmony with life and each other until someone ‘flinches.’ A mistake is made, feelings are hurt, lies are told, feelings are stuffed, trust is broken, hearts are broken, tears are shed – and the waters around everyone involved become so murky. And it’s hard to find ourselves again.

So I left the mountain. In our world, time does at some point become a factor again and you have to go. I dried off my wet and muddy dog (no lessons from her today, except that if I could be as content and happy as she is, life would be great all the time - ha) and started down the mountain. As I began the winding and steep descent, a grasshopper suddenly dropped onto the middle of my windshield, right in my line of sight. Imagine its surprise to suddenly find itself hurtling downhill at speeds it never dreamed of traveling! To say that it was holding on for dear life would be an understatement. But there was nowhere for it to go, so it held on. We made it to the bottom of the mountain and leveled out and I noticed with the change of pace, that it began to tentatively try to crawl across the windshield. But then I began to speed up again, and it dug in again and held on. The longer it stayed on, the more I wondered how long it COULD stay on – and I began to really want this grasshopper to make it all the way home with me. So we drove along and it stayed. I have to admit that at some point along the way, I thought about turning on the windshield wipers to knock it off – it was a little distracting to have it right in my line of sight. But that just seemed too cruel… So we drove. Most of the way, it was pretty well plastered on its side to my windshield with its little legs splayed out and stuck on. But there was a point where I turned a corner and it turned around to me, face to face, as if to say, “Oh, PLEASE, stop this thing and just LET ME OFF!” But I was getting so close to home – we were going to make it. Just after that, we hit a straight stretch of 4-lane rode and my speed headed up to 45MPH. That little grasshopper turned itself around (butt facing me now!) with its head up and into the wind (like a hood ornament – ha) and just defiantly rode as long as it could. But I could see the speed getting to him and I slowed down, because I really, really wanted him to make it home. As I pulled into my driveway and into the garage, I parked and he was still there. I sat in the car and just watched him for a minute as he seemed to ‘decompress’ from the wild ride. He didn’t move. I think he was in shock. So I went inside and got a cup and gently ‘captured’ him and set him free in the front yard. A much happier place for a grasshopper to be. :-) Oh, how life feels like this at times!! How did I get on this wild ride careening out of control downhill? I’m just hanging on for dear life. And even when the road begins to straighten out underneath me, sometimes the speed of life can be dizzying. Please, Lord – stop the world, I want to get off! But no, it doesn’t work like that. OK, so I’ll stick my face into the wind and I’ll pull myself up by the bootstraps and I’ll make it through, just watch me! Oops, things just got too fast for me again…. But there’s God, watching me through the windshield, willing me to get home, knowing when it’s time to slow things down, so I can find Him. I’m in shock… too tired and too exhausted to stand on my own, or get where I need to be. I’m so thankful that it’s in those times He will carry me to a better place.