OK, so the title may be a little misleading. I really haven't been to Pamplona... but Anna and I did get up early this morning to go run in Hampton Cove's Running of the Bulls 5K and 1 Mile Fun Run. You might think that Anna did the 5K and I was doing the fun run, but believe it or not, it was the other way around. She's a wimp. haha No, actually, she just had friends running the fun run and thought that might be more fun than having to run with her mom. Go figure. :-) And I can't really bug her about her being a wimp -- she came in 8th place overall in the fun run -- yay Anna!! :-) Now she's dreaming about gold medals in track at the Olympics - you go girl! :-) I guess I should be honest and say I really had no intention at all about running this race. I haven't exactly been doing much to 'train' this summer. But when I went down to register Anna yesterday I just thought, "Well, why not?" So this is how we ended up at the race together this morning. :-) Oh, and if you're wondering about my text color choices, they're Red and Gold in honor of Hampton Cove's school colors. Go Bulls! :-)
So after my last post on what I learned from Green Mountain, I thought I'd talk a little about what I learned from the Bull Run. As I stood 'in the pack' to start the race, I got into a conversation with another mom there that I didn't know. She and I were in the same boat with no one to really run with, so we started out together. She told me that she ran 5 miles every other day so I figured it wouldn't be long before she left me behind. :-) But I managed to keep up with her for the 1st half of the race and it really helped to have someone to run with in that first part to keep my mind off of how bad the first mile always feels. We didn't talk much (because we were trying too hard to breathe!) but at one point we were talking about the age of our kids and she has 6 and 7 year old girls. At this point, for some reason, she chose to tell me that they were still trying to have more kids and had just finished IVF, but that she miscarried right after the proceedure - and she was very sad about it all. Then she went on to say that they hadn't even told either her or her husband's parents because they didn't want to get their hopes up -- and her husband didn't really want to talk about it all, so she didn't even have anyone to talk about it with.
And yes, I realize as anyone is reading this that that probably sounds like a long conversation while you're running, but it was really pretty quick. All I could really get out at that point was to tell her that I was sorry. And I suppose maybe I'm the only one she's had that conversation with... a complete stranger.
Not long after all that, we came to the 'turnaound' in the race and she got up ahead of me. I never did catch her. So I was on my own for the last part of the race. I actually felt pretty good as I was getting towards the end, but of course the only part of the race that was 'uphill' was at the very end -- that wasn't very nice. ha Just when you think you can cruise to the end, they throw a little obstacle in there for you.... but I pressed on and surprisingly enough, finished in my best race time ever -- 33:55. :-) So that was exciting. I didn't even realize it, (I think I was delerious) but Anna came running up and told me I had a 'personal best!' She was funny about that.
So, back to the part of 'what did I learn?' Well, I was thinking that it was good to have someone along for the race for a while because it helped motivate me and get me started. But it sort-of got may attention when she started talking to me about her struggles with getting pregnant and how alone it seemed she felt in dealing with that. I can so easily get caught up in my own pain and struggles that I forget there is a whole world of people out there going through their own things. And we're all on a 'journey' of sorts to get through it all. And as I got left behind, and knew I couldn't catch up (no matter how much I didn't want to look bad! ha) this song by Sara Groves popped into my head. It's called, "This Journey is My Own." I went and looked up the lyrics and I've put them in here -- they fit a lot of what I thought about as I finished out my race working out my own pace and dealing with the obstacles in the way. Really, my only goal today was to 'finish' without having to walk. :-) I was able to do that by not trying to 'run anyone else's race.' But the nice treat at the end was the added 'blessing' of a 'personal best' when I was really least expecting that. I think that's what God wants for us as we run this race of life, and maybe especially when we feel the lonliness of the journey, is to know that He wants us to keep at our own pace and He'll give us what we need (and even more than we asked or imagined - Eph 3:20) as we cross the finish line.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Heb 12:1-3)
This Journey is My Own -- Sara Groves
When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone
This journey is my own
Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval
This journey is my own
Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
What does it mean to gain the whole world, only to lose my life
So much of what I do is to make a good impression
This journey is my own
And so much of what I say is to make myself look better
But this journey is my own
And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now
This journey is my own
Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down
It was breaking me down
And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Cuz I know this journey is my own
And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain
I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’
Oh, this journey is my own
I love the thought of 'living and breathing' for an audience of One. It felt that way out on the race course today -- I was so aware of every step and every breath - and of God's presence. Maybe one day I'll finally get that feeling of 'relief' that she talks about when I can truly understand that I'm here to love and to please God alone.
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