A Day

It's been almost a year since I started working part-time.  It's only 15 to 20 hours a week, and I really enjoy my job, but I do realize that it has given me a much greater appreciation for my days off and for time to myself.

I was doing some reading and looking back through some old journals this morning and realizing how much time I had at one time... boy did I spend a lot of time writing...  don't do much of that these days. 

I almost took a trip up to Green Mountain, but since it looked like the mountain was totally covered in fog (clouds?) and that it might rain at any minute, I decided not to.   But it's kind-of a bummer because that's my go-to place when I have a lot on my mind.

But I did make myself go out for a run and that felt really good... and I realized something.  I've been trying to get back into running lately and I've developed a new attitude towards it.  About this time 4 years ago, I had decided to train for a 10K.  So I trained for it, very meticulously, ran it, completed it, and was happy about it.  Of course, that's also when my hip started bothering me... and it's been a fight to run consistently since then.  I would find myself setting another goal for a run, strapping on my GPS watch, getting my running music ready, and heading out the door with a certain pace in mind...  and spend the whole run either mad at myself because I wasn't running as fast as I used to, or frustrated because my hip was hurting (probably because I was pushing myself too much.) 

Well, this last couple of weeks as I've headed out to run, I've purposely left the GPS watch behind so I have NO idea how fast I'm running or how long I've been out.  (I kinda know how far I've gone because I run pretty much the same routes all the time. ha)  My music has switched from the heart-pounding pace-setting running playlist on my ipod to, at least for today, some much more soulful, classical music by Michael W. Smith that I just love.  And I just went out.... and ran.  Slowly, peacefully... just enjoying how it felt.  And when it was time to head for home, I even ran up and down another street because I just wasn't ready to be done yet.  :) 

So, honestly, I may pay for it all later and have to pull out the ice pack and Advil for my hip, but it's all good for now. 

And it helped me clear my head some and feel better.  (Maybe that was the endorphins!)  :)

And I was reminded of something that I saw on FaceBook a few days ago and meant to say something about:

This struck a nerve with me.  It made me realize that when I lose touch with the creative side of myself, I lose touch with my soul.  And really, I don't think of myself as a very creative person, but there's some kind of creativity in all of us, I believe.  I love music perhaps the most... like today when I was running.  No words are necessary...  just a melody can reach my heart in a way that honestly, I don't have words to express. (Michael W. Smith - "The Tribute") But then there are other songs where the words do help...  one that I listened to this morning reminded me that sometimes when I struggle to find words in prayer, a song can express all that my heart needs to say.  (Michael W. Smith "Lord Have Mercy")   I really miss singing with our 'group' at church that has slowly disbanded over the last year. That has created a big void in my life that I'd like to find a way to fill...

I do sing in the shower sometimes...  I have danced (badly!) to the radio...  (actually, full disclosure, my latest dancing adventure was to an exercise video called Bollywood Belly Dancing and yes, it's as hysterical as it sounds... especially if you picture me doing it. hahaha....)  I LOVE stories - all kinds of stories - I think it's probably the only way to get to know others and really understand them.  And I have written some poems... very rarely... and they probably weren't very good, but they were always heartfelt.  My latest thought, after taking Anna and her friends to paint at Spirited Art, is that I'd like to give that a try...  I've never even been able to draw a decent stick figure, but they promise you can overcome even that.  We'll see...  

But when he said, "practicing an art, no matter how well or how badly, is a way to make your soul grow," something inside of me just went...YES.   And I need that...  especially in times that are a bit soul-withering.  I need it even more.

I suppose that writing this blog is one of my creative outlets...  maybe it's what is replacing the journaling to some degree.  Whatever the case, it's good for my soul.  :)

Oh, and since pictures are another kind of creative expression, and since I didn't get to go up to Green Mountain today, I looked back through a few pictures and thought I'd share this one - truly one of my most favorite places:

 

From here I guess my day will move back into the 'things that need to get done' mode....laundry, dinner, vacuuming, bills, etc.  But some days require you to pause for a little while and catch your breath... this was one of those days.