The Way You Love Me

This past weekend I was very fortunate to get away for a couple of days to go to the Stream Franklin conference at the 4th Avenue Church of Christ up in Franklin, TN. The worship, singing, times of prayer and the teaching were all very inspiring... I'm still 'processing' lots of the stuff I heard about "the new heaven and the new earth" that I can't even begin to know how to write about... but I hope all the things I heard that were new thoughts to me, are true -- it was an amazing look at what God has planned for us.

On Saturday night, there was a concert by Anthony Evans. I had never heard of him before then, but I enjoyed him so much. He did a lot of songs that we sing in our worship times, so it was fun to sing along... and he sang several songs he has written. There was one that I really liked and thought I would post on here. It's called The Way You Love Me. He said that he wrote it after going through a couple of very difficult years -- he went through a broken engagement, and then what he called a 'series of mistakes and bad choices.' He shared that he tried to write some songs during that time and all he could get on paper was... "Dear God...... Why?...... The End." He was sort-of joking when he said that, but you could hear the truth in it, too. So as he was finding his way out of that time, he wrote this song and I've posted a link to it to You Tube. I think I'm going to have to consult with those of you bloggers who have figured out how to actually get the video to show up ON your blog -- I haven't quite gotten that yet... oh well. Hopefully, this will work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQiYlzW9P5o

I really like the thought that sometimes the way God loves us is really by letting us 'go to the end of ourselves' and finding out that He is still there. If you haven't listened to the song yet, that won't make any sense at all (and may still not, since it's just my interpretation of what he's saying!) but anyways, if you like that song, his latest CD is really good and has a lot of great worship music on it.

Check it out at: http://www.anthony-evans.com/

Worth Reading...

I was checking out some information on Tenth Avenue North's website last night and came across their 'Journal' entries. Basically, it's their blog written by the band members. I started doing a little reading, because I always love to hear the 'stories' behind the songs, and this is what I thought I'd find. Well, I found that and much more... I've spent some time reading this morning and I particularly like Mike's thoughts. He's currently writing what he calls a 'book' of thoughts based on the songs from their latest CD.... here's a sample of his thoughts on 'Love is Here:'

But man, if deep down in my soul, God was really my God,i f I really believed that I didn’t have to earn my approval, that I didn’t have to be good enough or smart enough or faithful enough to get God to love me, I think it would change who I run to for acceptance. Love is here. Love is now. And if I really knew that the thing my heart wanted most was to be home with God, then it wouldn’t come as any great shock to me when I feel dissatisfied here. And maybe, just maybe, I’d actually be able to be content in my discontentment....

For all you Switchfoot fans, that's what the whole “Beautiful Letdown” album is about.“It was a beautiful letdown, the day I knew, all the riches this world had to offer me, would never due….in a world full of bitter pain, and bitter doubt. I was trying so hard to fit in, until I found out, that I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here.”

Man, what peace to know that this isn’t my home. What a beautiful letdown to know that I am loved and there’s nothing I could run to that would give me what I want.

But it’s not really that easy is it? Because we’re made for a massive amount of pleasure you and I. We’re made for God to fill us, and shine through us, and so when God’s taking his sweet old time to satisfy us, it seems downright impossible to hold out doesn’t it? I mean, people want to be happy, right? They want their best life now, and so when Jesus comes along and says, stop looking, just wait, “your best life is coming later!” Well, it’s not exactly what you want to hear is it?“ Don’t tell me that love is here, and not yet! Just give me something to dull the pain!

But that’s just it. Love is here, and now and…later. Everything you want and are looking for, you’ve got it. So stop looking. Everything else that you want, wait. It’s coming.

Like I said before, think about this too long and you might go cross-eyed. But I’d rather be cross-eyed and content than have my eyes fixed on a world that can’t even deliver what it promises. If God Himself is really the desire of our hearts, then as long as we’re strangers here, we’ll sing along with those crazy Irish rockers,“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

Psalm 84:10 “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”

Believe it or not, this is just a 'short' excerpt -- there's lots, lots more and it's good stuff. Makes me realize why there is such depth and insight in the words to their songs. It takes a little while to read it -- but I think it's worth the time. I'm looking forward to what Mike has to write about the rest of his songs...

This Day in History

It seemed to me that I couldn't let this day go by without a post... it has been a pretty amazing day in history. The inauguration of our 44th President -- and our first African-American president. I watched the whole thing unfold as I sat huddled in my bed under a nice warm blanket with a bowl of hot soup -- and my dog snoring at the end of the bed. Somehow, the significance of the moment was lost on her. ;-) Later, as I picked up my kids from school, I found out that both of them had seen most all of the events of the day in their classes at school. I'm glad they took the time there to see this happen. My sister called me sometime late in the afternoon -- she's very excited about our new president and the changes he hopes to bring. She had invited a couple of friends over for lunch to watch the inauguration and had intended it to be a pretty low-key kind of thing. But then South Carolina had a very unlikely 'snow day' today and her lunch with a couple of friends turned into quite a party when all the kids had to come along! I guess we all know how that is when the school system or weather gurus (whoever you want to blame!) mess up our best laid plans!! Anyway, I also noticed on facebook that my brother, a now 'ex-patriot' American living in Paris, is quite happy about the day as well. :-) Hmmm... I just realized that I forgot to ask my dad what he thought about the whole thing when I talked to him today -- we were just trying to get a trip to the Honda dealership worked out for tomorrow... oh well, sometimes the big events of life still get overshadowed by the smaller needs of the moment.

ANYWAYS, I, myself, am not so good when it comes to discoursing in the political arena. I just don't do my homework on the issues like I should to really know what I'm talking about. Usually that doesn't stop me from having some kind of opinion (ha), but here lately I find that when you are uninformed, it just seems better to keep your mouth shut and listen. So, on the lighter side of things, I was looking for a picture to post with these thoughts, and found the one above. First of all, I thought it was just an amazing, beautiful shot of the White House. But then, it also begs the question, "Who were the poor souls who had to clean snow off all those seats?!?!"

Happy Birthday Anna!

Just about this time, 12 years ago, I was holding a brand new baby girl in my arms (and very glad to be done with labor!). So my thoughts today are about my now 12 year old 'baby' girl who will always be my youngest, but surely isn't a baby any more. She's grown into a beautiful, funny, talented, generous, and very thoughtful young lady. Happy Birthday Anna! I love you very much....

Mere Christianity

Just a couple of thoughts from Book III, now that I'm back to my reading...

From chapter 5:

"After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying agin. For however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness, or any other virtue) may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God. We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection."

I like this idea that getting up from our failures and trying again is all part of the process of training us in 'habits of the soul' that lead us to depend on God. Just to think that God is at work, even in the trying, is encouraging.

And then I just thought how Lewis put this was funny:

"It is, of course, quite true that God will not love you any the less, or have less use for you, if you happen to have been born with a very second-rate brain. He has room for people with very little sense, but He wants every one to use what sense they have."

For those of us with second-rate brains, this is very reassuring... ;-)

He Loves Me

Over Christmas, I finished reading this book, "He Loves Me" by Wayne Jacobsen. It is something of companion book to "The Shack." So if you liked "The Shack" and are looking for more of the same kind of thoughts on 'living in the Father's affection' -- this is such a good book. It's one that I will be reading again and lingering in a bit more. Here's what the author of "The Shack" had to say about this book:

"For those of us who are longing to 'live loved', I cannot recommend a better follow-up to The Shack than this book. It is an exploration and adventure into the heart of the God we hoped was truly there, and who loves each of us in particular with an everlasting love."

I'm not one to go to the end of a book and read what happens, so I apologize for what I'm about to do. This is the very last couple of paragraphs in the book and a translation of I Peter 4:1-2 from The Message that I'm memorizing and holding on to...

His invitation is for us to come and live as loved as we already are. Take the risk to discover that, and you'll never be disappointed. He knows best about everything and there is no situation in which he cannot work his glory into your life. As you watch him do that in your life, it will become much easier to follow him. Your trust in him will grow, and astounding transformations will occur in your life.

You'll notice it in the most surprising ways as, over time, your own thoughts, ideals, and actions gradually shift to reflect his. You'll catch yourself responding in situations totally differently from how you've responded in the past. You'll find yourself thinking, I'm not like this. And yet you are. You always have been, it's just that your life was distorted and twisted by a broken relationship with the Father who has always loved you more than you can possibly conceive.

This is the joy of this journey - a restored relationship with the Father who made you and a transformed life that allows you to live free even in this broken age. I can think of no better place to end than with the words of Peter as translated by Eugene Peterson in The Message. I have found the truth in this Scripture to be a beacon that invites me ever onward and closer to him:

"Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want." I Peter 4:1-2

OK -- as I typed this out it occurred to me that phrases like "you'll never be disappointed" "astounding transformations" and "you'll respond totally differently than you have in the past" feel a little bit like a 'pipe dream' to me... maybe I'm too cynical or maybe he's overstating things a bit -- but I HAVE begun to see myself thinking and responding differently in ways to things and situations and it has really 'surprised' me at times. And I do believe that's coming from this realization that I do have a 'Father who has always loved me more than I can possibly conceive." :-)

By the way -- if you've actually stuck this out and read this far, and are interested in reading the book for yourself, you can go to this website, www.lifestream.org and download the 1st edition of this book for free.

Resolutions

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. Not so much because I think they aren't a good thing -- I actually think they are. But more because I'm so bad at keeping them... I can't handle the failure! ;-) For example: I had a goal at the beginning of last year to run a 10K race. I've done a couple of 5K races and really enjoyed it, but the idea of running farther than that has been somewhat of a mental block for me. Well, it was a nice goal, but I never put a plan in action to achieve it, so no 10K for me last year. So this year, I'm back to wanting to run that elusive 10K. So I went looking for a 'plan' online the other night and found this neat website that I thought was worth sharing. http://www.mapmyrun.com/ The best thing about it is this feature where you can pull up maps of anywhere you want and mark off a course, and it will tell you what the distance is. I have a few 'routes' around here that I run, but I'm always wondering how far I'm really going... now I know! :-) And, there's a training log where you can keep up with all sorts of info about your runs and workouts, etc. It makes it all kinda fun - if you can get past the reality of the sore muscles from actually DOING the running and workouts. haha

So now I have an 8 week training plan that is supposed to have me running a 10K distance by the end of February. Wow -- that seems so soon. But I'm on track so far and feeling pretty hopeful about it all. So this year I'm going to run the 10K Cotton Row race for the first time... that's my 'resolution.'

I'm going to get in trouble for this...

...because this is exactly what my sister told me not to do. You see, when she was here for Christmas break, she was kind enough to help me organize my bedroom closet, get rid of lots of old clothes, and go through bags and bags and bags of all the girl's clothes that I had stashed in a closet and decided not to try and deal with on my own. ;-) It took the better part of a day to get through all of that, but oh, how wonderful it is to go in my closet now! :-) Guess I should put a picture of that on here, 'cause it still looks really good! :-)

But getting back to this picture and this post... after that day of cleaning and organizing, my sister had a few things to say. First of all, she told me that I wasn't as bad as some things she's seen in her business of organizing people's stuff. So that was nice to hear. Well, actually, I guess there was the moment of finding the bag full of bags of unreturned things I've bought -- and finding that some of the receipts for that stuff dated back to 2007... hmmm..... she did laugh at me for that! ha That was pretty bad. Anyways, she wanted to help me deal with the 'laundry nightmare' that I seem to get myself into. And part of her advice was to never take anything out of the dryer without folding and putting it away immediately. *sigh* I promised to try. And I really meant it. And I have had some success. :-) BUT, this pile of clean towels got dumped (yes, by me) on the couch last night and I never got around to folding them - and so at some point I walked thru the living room this morning and there was Mandy, making herself at home on my clean towels!! Well, guess that's just what I get for not listeing to my sister... one more extra load of laundry!!

Christmas 2008

Before I get too far into the new year, I wanted to finally get around to posting a snapshot of our Christmases... I think we had about 5 of them, when all was said and done. I think I only managed to get pictures of 3 of them before I got tired of taking pictures. ;-) So here goes:

Christmas Eve dinner at my house with mom and dad and Aunt Carolyn, who brought some wonderful fresh shrimp up from Pensacola. So we had shrimp scampi and steaks - not very traditional, but really, really good!

Then we had Christmas Morning at our house with the same crowd and Anna was up to her usual silliness.

Opening stockings... Santa even remembered Mandy this year. :-)


Later in the day, we went over to mom and dad's house to open a few more gifts there and have Christmas dinner. The girls got cameras and were very happy about that!



On Friday, we headed down to the lake to spend a couple of days with Jack's family. It was so warm on Friday afternoon, that we were able to sit (or snooze!) out on the screened porch and even go for a ride in the boat!

Mackenzie may LOOK like she's putting together a puzzle, but most of the time she was using her Christmas present - texting! :-)

So this is a picture of the lake house.... HAHAHAHAHAHA...... ok, it's the picture of the house across the lake from us that we always pass as we go out on the boat and WISH that we could just go inside and see what it looks like. I just thought it was a pretty cool picture.... ;-)

It was a little chilly on the front of the boat....

And oh, probably the most fun we had was with this new little addition to the family - a little fur-ball named Hunter. He's very, very cute... and we have no idea what he is. Deb wanted anything BUT a beagle -- but after looking at him and hearing him bark, we're pretty sure that he's got a good bit of beagle in him. :-)

No, you can't bring him home with us, Anna.

We drove home from the lake on Saturday night and went straight to my uncle's house for the yearly 'Townsley Christmas' get-together. I started to say 'dinner' but we went from it being a dinner to just being dessert several years ago when our families kept expanding. ha That was a fun evening. My uncle has a pool table, a ping-pong table and several old arcade games in his basement. This is why I don't have any pictures -- I was too busy playing! :-)

My sister and her family arrived in town that night. This picture is before our Christmas present to each other... a night out on the town. We were supposed to go to Chef's Table and were really looking forward to it until we realized they are closed on Monday nights... oops. So we ended up at Carrabas instead - which was still a lot of fun.

My sister left on Wednesday, so we had a quiet New Year's Eve and a couple days to pack up Christmas around the house before we went on our wild adventure to Illinois for Brady and Shanna's wedding. And that about sums up Christmas 2008. It's been kinda nice to get back to a little bit of 'normal' today - but a little lonely, too. It was nice having everyone around.

Happy New Year

Here's a quote I read today and thought would be a good one at the start of a new year:

"We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished. 'Success' comes from strength, stress, and human effort. Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness.” - Henri Nouwen

Wishing everyone a fruitful new year...